The Adventure Stalled…Maybe?

WindowSunI was thinking about my ‘Adventure’ over the last few weeks and found it wasn’t very fun. There has been a death in the family, tropical weather threats, finances, decluttering the house, ongoing family decisions (both for parents and kids), and insurance issues.  And that’s just the big issues. The minutiae of life continue to need attention and I get a cold! Oy! What happened to fun! I thought adventures were supposed to be fun.

So I got to thinking…Life is rarely what it’s supposed to be. But then again what’s an adventure. Back to the dictionary I go!

Adventure: engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory [Ref: Bing powered by Oxford Dictionaries]. Now my trusty old Webster’s II Dictionary (3rd Edition) says, Adventure: 1. A hazardous undertaking…3. Participation in hazardous or exciting experiences…Hmmm.

Well I feel like I’m in hazardous territory, at least figuratively; at least hazardous to my finances and pride. I am exploring unknown territories and stepping beyond the safe fortress I have built around my life. I have big walls, known in the psycho-babble world as boundaries (said with a really weird hoity-toity accent with the nose in the air).

The walls were built to protect my energy levels and help me heal. In envisioning these walls I found some of the walls are really tall towers with thick mortar and stone. Rapunzel’s dad would love them! The problem with the walls I’ve built is they have no windows. I can’t relish the figurative sunrise or moonrise with them. Here’s the thing about walls. They are a lot of work to build and to take down. I’m not really ready to let them go completely but I would like a door and some windows please.

Back to the adventure, the parts of the adventures we don’t see is the work. The part glossed over by the movies, mythology, or stories is the time and effort it took to get there. The action and triumph parts of an adventure are repeated in great detail with much embellishment. But the simple steps to get to the action (aka adventure) are summed up in as few sentences as possible. After the last few weeks I realized I may be on the travel portion of the journey.  Like Odysseus ten-year journey home in the Odyssey (attributed to Homer) or Pilgrim’s Progress’ Christian (by John Bunyan 1678) the adventure seems to happen along the journey. The journey really is a series of adventures.

As I’ve stated before I’m out here to enjoy the journey and see what adventures I get into. Alas these last few weeks I only seem to have the journey to report. I look back and realize it hasn’t been fun but the struggle is strengthening my resolve. I am not discouraged by the delays and setbacks. Or even my stumbles. My desire to enjoy this phase while reaching for my dream has only increased. I have a long journey ahead. I’m ready for it. Remember:

The journey of a thousand miles starts under ones own feet.” attributed to Laozi (even if that step is in my own mind and behind my mental walls 🙂 ).

I felt like I let myself down on my writing schedule. I missed a blog posting. I only edited one chapter in my book, not the three chapters I had intended. I felt like a felled sapling after a storm. As needs and tasks swirled around me, I felt like giving in. But I realized I need this transition. I need to give the kids their independence to succeed. I need to follow my path even if I get sidetracked off the path I am led to take.

As I blew my nose and took another cough drop, I realized I needed to get these thoughts out there. I needed to step out and blog again. Tonight I will post the blog, read my trashy novel, steam in a hot shower, and sleep well. Tomorrow I will take a tiny step forward by scheduling my time to draft a new blog for Thursday and edit a chapter of my book!

I will enjoy my tiny steps forward. Most of all I will be Milly, peaking out at the sunrise through the brick I just pushed out of my thick wall!…Be yourself and enjoy the tiny steps along with your adventure!

Love Milly-

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