Milly has returned to current life. We arrived at home late last night under an almost full Hunter’s Moon. I miss the mountains already. I feel they are my home away from home.
However after traveling for a couple of days, I am in pain. So of course I started worrying right away. My big dream is a road trip to the Grand Canyon. It’s been a dream since I was a preteen. Surprisingly, this is a dream I never gave up on. I had planned to take this trip in May 2017.
I want a road trip so I can see more of the sights plan to see. I want to stand on the Four Corners. I want to see the south and north rim sunrise/sunsets along with their moonrise/moonsets. I pray I will be well enough to travel at least partway down the canyon. I want to see what the southwest looks like from the ground.
Today I’m not so sure I can do the road trip. My chronic pain began building yesterday to full-blown joint and head pain today. We didn’t even drive straight through! I am so angry with my body’s reaction to something I want to do. Sure I could probably fly but, I want flexibility in my “Grand Adventure” across the Southwest. I don’t want to be on someone else’s’ itinerary. (Stomp! Stomp! My feet!). Okay my rant (aka temper tantrum) is over for now (sulk).
My hope is tomorrow I will feel better, able to manage my pain better. This will be an improvement over other trips. Since in the past the pain would linger a few days. This trip was a test. Am I able to travel without being a total witch or sniveling child? That is the question. Looking back over this trip, I did fairly well. I don’t think I was too much of a witch. We did take one and half days to get to the North Carolina house. I actually enjoyed the trip up. Yes I was tired and achy but, overall physically I felt better than in the past. Maybe it has something to do with the altitude or weather? Not sure myself. I seem to be fitting some of the pieces together.
I had such hope. If I just took care of myself while traveling (eat right, gentle movement, rest), I could maybe take that dream trip next year. The Grand Canyon is approximately 2,400 miles from my house. I was planning to take five days on the road to get to the Canyon. Right now I don’t think I have the chronic pain under control enough to make my goal for next year. I was crushed when I crawled out of bed in search of coffee this morning.
I turned to my Lord and Savior. I dialogue prayed for most of the day today. I just discussed the situation with the Lord. I know he will give the healing in his time. I WANT IT NOW (okay I’ll stop stomping that foot 😮 ). I’m still learning what I need to learn. I told him I’d trust him to help me through the valley (Psalm 23). As I discussed and analyzed the situation with him, I realized the situation is actually improving. I will need to be patient (I don’t like being patient).
I hear my Lord in whispers. I know I hear voices right! Hah! This is not like that. It is truly the “small quiet.” These thoughts are not what I think in my sinful mind. They are simple nudges making fantastic sense while fitting all the pieces in place. I feel an angel leans over and whispers in my ear. Once in a great while, I feel the presence of one of my Grandmothers, Sister, or Mother-in-Law (all saints to me) before one of these profound thoughts.
Today I did not feel any of these saints presence but, as I continued my discussion an elusive thought whispered through my brain “It’s not the only dream on the list.” I stopped short.
Now you have to understand me. I am a person that if I set a date or goal, I practically kill myself to reach it. Come hell or high water I’m racing for the goal. It doesn’t matter to this type A mare. If I have to I’ll limp across that line dragging a broken leg. I set the goal for May 2017. I have to go right?
That’s how I know the thought didn’t come from me. It was a whisper in a still small voice. I don’t have to reach for this dream next year. There are lots of dreams on my list of dreams. Other items to fulfill: finish the novel I wrote, and finding my hometown. How about having the finances to not be dependent on my sons when I am old? There are lots of things on the list. Not all of them are as “Grand” as the Canyon, I do want them too. I know in my heart of hearts, I can’t complete them all at once. I want to. I know I have to take them one at a time.
This week I need to trust and listen to my Lord. His nudges will lead me to the goal/dream that is his priority for me to complete in the next few to several months. I suspect his path will be an adventure. I’ll let you know what I find out.
Open your heart to your higher power. Talk, discuss, and enjoy the presence.
P.S: This was rather heavy. I’m looking forward to something lighter on Wednesday (Tease).