Sometimes, I live in the definition of insanity. I deny it but…it is true. I caught myself a couple of times this week…okay I’ll admit it, more than a couple of times…. I do something out of habit then, find myself disappointed again when it doesn’t work…AGAIN! You’d think I’d learn!
I keep telling myself: “I have changed. I am changed.” Yet I’ve been caught off guard with the same old reactions from before I undertook this journey. I know these things do not help me get healthier or move me closer to my dreams.
Take my car rant. I went to the club for some supplies. They have a new policy. It seems after I swipe my debit card they take the card from me and compare it to my membership card. Well the guy didn’t explain, he just took my card away from me like I’m a child or something. I felt weird, not sure how I should react. By the time I got the groceries in the car and settled in the driver’s seat I was ANGRY! How dare he take my card from me! I was also fearful. What if he has a photographic memory and steals my card number?
Well on the drive home I slip into my old way of doing things. I rant. I vent. I shoulda said this or that. I’m gonna tell the manager off. I’m complaining to corporate (Which I rarely do). Woulda, shoulda, coulda. All of this talk is going into thin air. I think “venting” will help me express my feelings. In truth it only makes me look like another crazy Flor-idiot on the road.
In my definition of insanity I know this: If I go in fired-up to tell someone off it will end badly (been there done that, don’t need the postcard). More than likely I’ll do nothing. The next time they want to look at my financial cards, I’ll probably just simmer and glare. They won’t know why I was pissed off because I don’t tell them.
If I ignore it or rant into thin air again, my stress levels go through the roof. This is a really bad thing for chronic pain. I’m actually perpetuating my own stress/pain cycle all by myself. The world continues in their own realms. They don’t live in Milly’s Realm I do…
So what is a Milly Girl to do? Well since I choose health and change, I will stop the passive/aggressive cycle which is a part of my insanity. First I stopped myself, then I prayed, and then I thought about the situation. When I looked at the problem without ranting, I found I have good reason to be concerned. I have been a customer at this location for over twenty years. I am shocked they treated like a child, or worse a criminal, rather than a customer. The other very real concern is identity theft. I feel if they don’t trust me, I have a problem trusting them.
I will write a complaint to the company (very easy to do with the internet! Imagine that). I will also go to member services and express my concerns in person. Then I will decide what I will do. It will be my choice.
I’m off on a new little-used path (at least for me). When I feel unsettled, I will remind myself, I am not handling things the same way I’ve always have. I want different results! I’ll stop, pray, and think. Then I’ll move in another direction. I’ll remember there is more than one “right way” to do anything.
Choose the path and go!
P.S: Just not the same ol’ path
P.P.S: Yes I was the passenger when I took that picture 🙂