Several weeks ago a friend asked me, “What do you want? What do you really want?” She continued, “Don’t answer now. Pray about it and discover what you really want.” Oh and she reminded to not say stuff like ‘I want happiness.’ Point taken: What do I truly want in my life?

This is not a question to be taken lightly. Not just anybody asks you this. Usually it is a true friend. This is what God asks of us too. What is your heart’s desire? [Ref: Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NIV]. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. [Ref: Matthew 7:7 NIV]. How can you receive what you want without identifying it deep in your soul?

In my last post I described my need to write so of course:

            I want to write.

I want to write about God and love and life and laughter. I want to write about joy and tears, foibles and victories. I want to inspire and entertain.

This was a hard assignment. I had to look into my soul and past the instant gratification. “Who did God make me to be?” I asked myself. After a few weeks of prayer I had this list:

1. I want a life with my Savior. I want to trust him. I want to be a good and faithful steward of the gifts he has given me.
2. I want to be confident in my abilities. I want to trust my own thoughts and ideas. I want to be comfortable with Milly.
3. I want to be a vibrant successful author. I want my writing to be absorbing with a good dose of humor. I want my readers to enjoy what I write and be inspired to follow their own dreams. Conquer their fears.
4. I want to let go of my adult children. They can grab the reigns of their lives and live beyond the walls of Milly’s Realm. I want them to find God and have their own epiphanies.
5. I want a man who loves me enough to pursue me and be my partner. I want a great marriage. I want us to grow old together enjoying the life God creates for us. I want my husband.
6. I want to feel good physically.
7. I want financial independence. I want to be prosperous.
8. I want to live in a place with mountains and hills. I want a comfortable home that meets my physical needs.

The list is a snapshot of what I wanted a few weeks ago with a few tweaks as I wrote this. In the past I wanted a husband (√), a degree (√), a home (√), a career (√), and a family (√). I received all of those gifts. Now I have a new list of wants (dreams). The list will change as I grow and accomplish. Right now, this moment, I now know what I need to ask for, seek and find, and start knocking on some doors.

Here’s where I am starting:

• Ask God for each item on my list daily.
• Seek out the information to make wise decisions and develop skills.
• Start knocking on doors to accomplish my dreams.

I’m a DIYer at heart. It goes against my nature to ask for help. I have to open my fist and share to achieve the dreams. These shifts will start moving my ship in the right direction. And, it’s a big ship! It takes a lot to turn it.

I knew going into this phase of life would cause upheaval (to say the least). Empty nest, aging, sandwich generation…all of these describe this big shift we face at some point beyond “middle age.” For me this shift is happening RIGHT NOW! There is no stopping it. It’s like puberty all over again! Oh My Goodness! {that’s my version of OMG}

My Friend also challenged me to figure out why ‘I don’t have what I want’ and ‘how to get it.’ I started these steps. I am discovering more as I look at what I really want. I haven’t corralled the thoughts to paper yet.

I will continue to write about my adventure as change unfolds. It is the reason I started the blog.  I asked God to show me the desires of my heart. He has. Now I am trusting him align my heart desires with his plan for me.

Love and peace,

Milly