Ack! I found it! It does exist. At least for moms it does! It looks like the detritus of the life of a teen boy. But…Methinks its moving…the stuff may be alive! What sort of creature is this?
The renovation saga from Eldest Prince’s room to Office/Guest room continues. We started taking up the laminate flooring. Part of taking up the floor requires us to get the bed out. While I was at work on Friday, my dear husband took the mattress and the box spring to the curb. He left the evidence and the lone bed frame for my inspection.
Oh! My! Goodness! Literally the floor was packed with stuff. My husband breaks into loud chuckles at the look on my face. This is as close to rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL) as the man gets. Incredulous I look at him and say, “I think you found the monster under the bed.” He continues chuckling as he responds, “I kept waiting for it to move.”
Now I’m laughing. Inside I want to scream. What in the world? How do I begin to tackle this job? I shake my head, wave my husband out as I thank him for getting the well-worn mattresses to the curb. I’m too tired to start on it. I firmly close the door in hope of keeping the monster locked away for the night. I don’t want it under my bed! That’s for sure!
I prep dinner and he preps for the monster battle. He readies recycling bins and bags garbage cans for me. As we eat we discuss anything but the monster in the other room. I kiss him as heads out for work and bid him with a good, safe night.
I can’t resist. I pick up a trash can. I’m just getting it out of the kitchen, I tell myself. It can’t be as bad as I first thought, right Milly. I peek in the door. Oh its dark. I flip on the light. Yep! it’s that bad. Those misbehaving fairies didn’t come in and take it away during dinner. I slide the prepared trash can across the floor and shut the door with a firm click. I got dishes to do. Right!
I do all my regular chores. I didn’t even try to skip any of them. But before I take a shower. I have to peek again. Maybe just maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. I grab the second trash can and swing open the door, flicking on the light with confidence. Nope! There must be no trolls, fairies or gremlins in my house. Nary a sprite to be found! The monster is still there. It is only missing its bed.
I set down the second trash can, shut off the light and shut the door with a slight slam. Okay, you’re right, a not so slight slam. Well H E double hockey sticks! It is as bad as I thought. I decide I need hot tea with honey, a hot shower, and sleep in that order. I will slay the monster in the morning!
Do ya want to see the monster? Are you sure? It’s an ugly beast. If you are a mom of a teenage son you may want to look away…Are you positive? Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
I think it is a monster every mom has to face. Maybe it’s under the bed in its traditional place. Maybe its in the closet you fear to open. My monster was definitely under the prince’s bed. It consisted of bottles, cans, boxes, shirts, shoes, candy wrappers, discarded electronics… What was a mom to do?
I woke the next morning a little late and with a lot of resolve. Mama Bear was going to slay the monster before Trash-man arrives! After a good 15 ounces of my 30 ounce stainless steel mug of coffee, I dove into the belly of the beast! With a trash can as my shield and a broom as my sword I filled the first can. I raced the bag to the curb and grabbed two recycling bins on the way back into the house.
Time to switch up the fight. This was hand to hand combat to get the cans and bottles into the bins. sneaky little brats! they roll! Gotta get ’em all! Out to the curb they go! Wielding the broom I load up the second trash can and Wow! I’m done. There’s a floor there! I hear the Trash-man. Out I race…he’s down the street as I pile on the last bag. Whew. Here comes the hero of the day! Trash-man takes away the struggling monster to Landfill prison!
May you face your daily battles with a good dose of fun. And on a serious note to all Moms of soon to be teenage sons…Invest in a platform bed! Enjoy!
P.S: One of my friends in shock looking at my pics on the phone said, “I don’t see a monster! He moved out! There was no room!” That was absolutely classic LOL!
P.P.S: I’ve told the husband and princes, my Anniversary (28 years and counting) and Christmas presents of 2017 will be platform beds for the guest room and youngest prince. He’s next…Mwah Hah Hah! (rubbing hands gleefully)
P.P.P.S: What’s under my bed you ask? storage! winter boots, gift wrap, duffels for travel, etc. All boxed of course! There is no room there for the monster!