I don’t wanna, Cries my inner child. You must get the job done, soothes the parent inside my soul. Just what is waiting in the wings today?
The stage is set. The champions wait in the wings. Yesterday fear and hope were waiting for me. This morning, hope and fear wait in the wings to battle again. Who will win the battle today…
This morning I head back to the endodontist for the (hoping…hoping…) final phase of the root canal on my teeny tiny incisor iceberg. As you know I spent four days in excruciating pain. It is amazing how much teeth hurt when aggravated.
The endodontist described it as a very angry tooth. It was an apt description. And the tooth has not settled down yet! It’s still sulking with general achiness and irritation. At least I can open my mouth and chew on one side now. It was heaven eating a simple salad yesterday. It’s fascinating how satisfying something green and crunchy can be. I digress…
As I understand it, today the doctor will reopen the tooth and remove packing the tooth. He will take x-rays to see how the bone abcess is doing with the antibiotics. Then he will re-drill the root canal and fill it will the cement to support the tooth. I’ve been through this before but not with pain still lingering in the tooth.
The fear waiting in the wings keeps edging into my thoughts. Little ‘what ifs’ filter through whatever I’m working on. The problem with having so much dental experience is I know what the really bad is like and the ramifications.
What if the pain flares bad again? What if the tooth can’t be saved? Four more days of hell? More drug reactions? On and on the thoughts go if I allow them.
I did learn something on this walk with my Lord these past couple of years. With each “What if” I prayed a simple prayer a dear friend in Christ taught me.
Jesus, please give me everything I need today and you take care of the rest.
This became my mantra yesterday. Whenever fear poked it’s ugly little head out of the curtains at stage left. Under my breath I repeated, “Jesus, please give me everything I need today and you take care of the rest.”
The amazing thing is fear retreats back into the dark. Hope steps forward confidently pushing back the curtains on stage right. Hope says, this will finish the procedure. The tooth will be fine and strong. You will enjoy life without pain again…on and on Hope encourages me to stop stamping my mental foot and consider the outcome.
The risk is more pain and more dental work. The risk is also saving the tooth for a lifetime of biting and enjoying the sensation of taste.
This morning reading “Safe in the Shepherds Arms” by Max Lucado tells me: “I Will Fear No Evil” and gave me the following verse:
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalms 56:3 NLT
The battle is raging between fear and hope today. I put my trust in God this morning.