The Grave

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Photo by Anika Huizinga on Unsplash

I know the title is a bit morbid. Please bear with me. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Saturday morning I was reading my novel.* I came across a common phrase, “His grandmother would turn over in her grave!

The phrase caused me to pause. We are preparing to have my dad interred this month. It is understandable that I would pause at the phrase. The story is set at Christmas in Regency England. It describes a snowball fight on the lawn of the ancestral home of our hero, the Earl. He has recently married a middle class lady. Walking onto the scene he finds his new wife, his Countess, in the midst of the fight and laughing with her family.

The Earl thinks of his reserved grandparents who raised him with quiet decorum. He grows envious. His wife hits him with a snowball. The best part is he joins in the fray! All this before breakfast no less!

My attention returned to the phrase. I thought of my dad. Another thought whispered in my head. Do you really think people are the same once they move on to the afterlife? In truth, here on earth my dad was a judgmental man. I could now use the phrase myself for some of the things I do.

Here’s one example, “My father would turn over in his grave if he knew I was a writer.” In fact I never told my father about my writing. I knew I his criticism would be devastating.

I have written about how much I wanted his approval. What the people around me think means a lot to me. Those closest to me, my family and a few friends, mean even more. Who mean’s the most? I used to say my husband. But the statement is not true anymore.

While walking this journey towards becoming a writer, I found God’s opinion means the most. It is okay my husband doesn’t mind being knocked to second place as long as it is God Almighty in first! {wink}

I loved my dad. Maybe I thought too highly of his opinion. He had a habit of pointing out all the reasons why I was wrong, naive, or a failure. It made me second guess myself. Actually, it still does. I got to where I stopped bringing up my dreams to him.

Let’s get back to the phrase, “My father would turn over in his grave if he knew I was a writer.” I do not believe the statement is true. Of course my father now knows I am a writer. He is no longer tied to the earth or the grave. But would he disapprove of my writing? I don’t think so. He’s a little busy right now. He has a new life.

Dad has gone from one life to another. All transitions change us. Some transitions take years, like my current journey from working mom to empty nest writer. The transition from life here to life with God must be stunning.

It must not matter if you expect to die or not. The change is drastic. Dad moved from physical pain and dementia to the presence of Jesus. I believe his mind is healed and restored. Just being in the presence of Jesus has got to change us.

We cannot be judgmental can we? Why would I want to gossip, be snide, judge, or hurt someone else? I will be with the Prince of Peace. Something in my heart has to grasp heaven and let go of earth.

Our expressions can be funny. This one made me laugh. Of course the Earl and I are saying our parents would be horrified at our actions. Grandmother and dad can’t stop us. The secret is dad is in the presence of God. And guess what… when I pay attention… so am I.

Make peace with yourself… and have some fun,

Milly. 🙂

*A Christmas Promise by Mary Balogh

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