Decision Time

Which Way Milly? (Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash)

Milly it’s time to make a decision! What’s it gonna be?  The questions are: What path do you want to take; Christian or Secular fiction?  Who are you? 

Do I have to?  I’m not sure what I want to do.  Will you make the decision for me?  Please God tell me what to do?  Just tell me.  I don’t want to figure it out.

This is my conversation (prayers) with God lately.  I can feel His eye roll.  Yes, I was acting like another whiny child asking God to make the decision.  I found bits and pieces of information.  Friends and family encouraged me to search.  They supported me in prayer.  My husband and princes listened to me work out the choices.  I received great feedback and critiques.  I was getting no clear answer until…today.

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

[Jeremiah 29:12-13 NKJV]

With the cases for both sides made.  I laid out my pros and cons.  What is the bottom line?  The Lord had the last word.  His whisper was one simple sentence:

It is your choice

There is no right or wrong answer.  I know he wants me to have the desire of my heart.  My Lord will support me in whatever decision I make. Unless it is sinful {chuckle}.  My weeks of seeking and prayer came down to one thing.  This is not the Lord’s choice.  He has given the choice to me.  He chooses not cross that boundary.  This has to be the desire of my heart.*

As I talk with my Savior, a gentle thought floats in the air. What is the desire of your heart?  

“To be a published successful writer”

Dig deeper Milly… whispers through my brain.

“I want to inspire, to entertain, to bring joy and encouragement, and financial stability.”

What else?

This is where I looked back at the clues and questions I gathered over the last few weeks:

  • Through the years my writing in has grown more spiritual than I thought possible.
  • Jesus has been a part of my life since I was a child.
  • The media and my work environment hint that Christianity is not so popular right now.  Shh!  Keep it quiet.
    • I ask myself, “Is that a challenge? Are people hungering for spiritual meaning or not?” This is still an unknown.
  • As I write my characters they express a spiritual side. I don’t analyze it when I write. The Spirit is expressed without conscious thought. I ask myself, “Why suppress it?  God is a part of me.”
  • I cannot live my life without God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I want all of God.  So how could my stories not include God?
  • Then last night after listening to my pros and cons, my dear sweet husband said simply, “Rewrite it as Christian fiction.  It is what you do.”

I have two choices in my writing.  Do I take an easier more accepted path keeping my novel as is with some editing?  Or do I travel a narrower less traveled road to Christian fiction.  Meaning I rewrite the book.  It is either one or the other.  Who am I?  Where will I be happier in my writing?

What does my writing tell me about myself?  It tells me I am a Christian.  I cannot hide it.  My Lord is a part of everything I do.  I want to be free to be who I am.  My characters struggle to show their spiritual sides.  I will let them tell me who they are.

The decision I made today is…

Drum roll please…

I am rewriting Buried Secrets as a Christian Romantic Suspense Novel.  Keep me in your prayers.  I want to finish the rewrite in six months!

Thank you to everyone who listened, advised, and prayed.  I found the answer.  I followed the clues to my heart’s desire.  I know who I am…A Christian Writer.  It is what I do.

God Bless


*Psalms 37:4 NKJV

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