This morning I woke with praise for the Almighty on my lips. Yes, my head was pounding and my thoughts blurred by sleep. During the early morning hours, I woke a few times before I got up. Each time I thanked God for the day, his graces, or for being my God before fading back to sleep.
This is not how I usually wake up. I usually wake slowly and bang the snooze alarm a few times. I groan and wish my head stop hurting. “Just a few more minutes,” I whisper. Today I woke with joy and then said to the Lord, “Okay, it is time to get up.” Checking the time, I realized if I wanted to go to Church I would have to get out in fifteen minutes. I had over-slept!
The pressure to get to Church rushed through my head. I was still in that half-asleep state when I heard a gentle whisper. Stop… rest and write; write and listen.
I settled into my morning with Father Mark Goring on YouTube. I found Father Goring recently, and this weekend I am drawn to some of his videos from around the first of the year. I am now watching EWTN’s Sunday Mass and rosary, and my Church’s live stream Mass is scheduled for later.
My mind returns to the holy Joy given to me this morning. I am relaxing and writing as His Words in the videos and Sunday Mass wash over me.
Most Sundays, my husband helps me get to and through the Mass. Even though he works nights, he still gets up to go with me to the one Mass with no music. As I am writing this, I am laughing. I just turned down the volume on a beautiful but high-pitched hymn cutting through my head. I cannot turn down the volume at church! Yes, I am writing this in real-time as my morning unfolds.
On most Sundays, we enjoy our time as couple listening to the Words of God from our Priests. My husband offers his hand when I have trouble getting up and down. Then we go to breakfast and enjoy each other while we discuss what we learned in the Mass. It is a very special time for me. Today he is not here. He is in North Carolina working on plans for our future home. Yay!
Sometimes I wake late and hurting and I still have an overwhelming desire to get myself to Mass and sit with my Lord and community. As painful as it is to go to my Lighthouse, I am always blessed when I follow a driving desire placed in my heart by my Lord. Today, I found out I am also blessed when I hear Him call me to “Stop, rest and write.” The difference between rushing to Church with a desire and rushing under pressure is waiting on the Lord.
This morning, I did not expect joy or encouragement to rest. My past week has been exhausting and painful. Florida’s weather vacillated between two pressure systems, one coming down from the north and two tropical systems forming in the south. I lost one prince to the world. The prince’s silence is deafening. My heart grieves as I struggle through my work and chores. The support meetings left me exhausted and desolate. Daily chronic pain flared and each night I fell into bed exhausted from pain, grief, and stress. During the week, I found my refuge in prayer, and my comfort in the Holy Spirit.
I didn’t see a way out of the dark valley. Yet this morning I woke with praise on my lips. How did this happen? I pray God grants me this grace to think of Him for the rest of my life! Waking with gratitude and praise on my lips is not possible for me on my own. This grace is only possible through the Holy Spirit.
I look at life through my earthly lens. The world spews horror, hate, and lies at me. If I pay attention to what the world tells me, I am lost. I walk away broken and alone. This morning I stared through the Holy Spirit’s lens. My soul connected immediately. My mind is still in awe of this miracle. Yes, I was still in the usual morning pain. But my soul praised God, and peace infused my being. My intellect could not figure this out.
I let go of figuring out how this happened. This precious gift transcends the confines of my world. I believe He wants me to enjoy; taking joy in today. No matter what swirls around me today. God has granted me rest.
7 I bless the Lord who counsels me;
even at night my heart exhorts me.
8 I keep the Lord always before me;
with him at my right hand, I shall never be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, my soul rejoices;
my body also dwells secure,
[Psalms 16:7-9 NABRE]