In Faith that is. I have a question for myself this weekend. Do I continue my tiny steps of faith or do I take an enormous leap. I need to be enlightened. I need a spark of encouragement…As I’m writing this post I’m thinking of one of my favorite Christian songs, “Dive” by Steven Curtis Chapman. As the song lyrics play:
“…My heart is racing and my knees are weak as I walk to the edge;
I know there is no turning back once my feet have left the ledge;
and in the rush I hear a Voice;
That’s telling me it’s time to take the leap of Faith…”
I find the spark, the enlightenment, if you will. This makes me tremble before God. He cares enough about me, this speck of life in the middle of an awesome universe, to guide me towards the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). Tears track down my cheeks as I listen and write out the lyrics as I hear them. I’m not sure if I’m ready for this leap. Let me go back to the beginning.
On Thursday during an overwhelming week, I’m heading to Trader Joe’s for a family favorite easy dinner. I get off I-95 onto a main thoroughfare and notice a major backup on the I-95 flyover across the street. Then I had a wicked thought, what if someone pulled a rush hour prank causing major traffic back-ups. I won’t give away the wicked prank my devious mind thought up…just yet.
I immediately thought “what are you thinking? That’s horrible!” Then my imagination took off on a mini-adventure in my head and a story-line formed. I have developed a concept for a series of romantic suspense novellas that would start with (I don’t want to give away the idea just yet), let’s say, a really bad situation. I have started one novella with this idea. It has only gotten as far as, the getting the idea on the paper before I forget it phase.
By the time I got home I had forgotten the situation and story-line. I made dinner, did chores, exercise, got ready for work, and finished my blog post. It was now past my bedtime. I hadn’t even looked at my email since early that morning. I open the email. I almost deleted a Facebook email telling me I had a message from my nephew. I shrug and open the link.
My nephew, an artist/writer, has sent me a link to a book challenge for the month of November. The story idea comes flooding back. Just hours before I’d outlined almost the entire story in my head. Is it a sign? Is there a message here. Is it just a coincidence? I do believe Romans 8:28:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV)
So no, I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Together we are weaving the fabric of my life. In trusting God, I find it hard to pass up the connection between a new and clear story-line and the challenge thrown. I pick up the glove (if you will allow my literary license) and examine it.
I don’t know yet, if I can mention the organization in my blog or not. But I’m sure a lot of the writers out there will know what challenge I’m talking about. To me it sounds like a marathon for writers. The challenge is to write a novel (50,000 words) in the month of November. Literally write it in 30 days.
Now friends and family of mine do actually run marathons. I’ve told them they’re crazy and I admire them in completing the feat. I tell them, I could never do it. It’s too much pressure, too intense. What about my bad days? What about my responsibilities? Yet all of these loved ones take care of their responsibilities too. Now I’m considering competing with myself in a writers challenge? Does that make me crazy? Maybe?
But right now what do I feel? It ain’t crazy! It’s FEAR, in big bold letters! I want to run! I want to ignore the message! I want to hide! No, no, no! Excuses flood my senses. I just got a glass of seltzer water, and realized I’m sweating in a 75 degree temperature controlled room. And that’s just considering the challenge! I realize I need to face the fears of failure, the adventure and change I crave, and disappointing those around me.
Yesterday, I looked into the challenge online. I wrote my premise and story concept. Youngest Prince and I played with some ideas. As I sat in Mass this morning, I was wondering where I would find the inspiration for this post. The Mass flowed over me in the comfort of routine. At the end there was a speaker , his message didn’t apply to me (thank goodness for time to think). I started writing thoughts on my phone:
First I calculated I would need to write approximately 1,700 words per day. I usually write about 400 words per page, give or take. This would be four to five pages a day. I struggle to get one page a day done in my crazy life. Then I wrote:
A step of Faith? Or is it a Leap?
As the speaker finished up, I wrote a few sentences that became this post. Just the act of writing got me thinking…As Steven Curtis Chapman’s lyrics float through my head I make a decision:
“…So here I go;
I’m diving in,
I’m going deep in over my head,
I want to be caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head I want to go;
The river’s deep, the river’s wide, the river’s water is alive;
So, sink or swim, I’m diving in…”
I’m enlightened and inspired today. I will finish the story outline and sign up for the challenge this week. I’m taking the Leap of Faith. Going for the adventure! I’m divin’ In!
What’s your challenge! Let me know…Dive on in! The waters’ great!