I think I’ve mentioned this before; I tend to be a middle of the road kinda gal. It frustrates some of my family and friends. I don’t want to debate, argue, or have a confrontation over where we eat or what we do. It does not make sense to spend my life in a constant state of debate.
I really don’t mind the middle. There’s a lot of good in the middle. It’s my own personal comfort zone. Like enjoying a caramel in the middle of thick dark chocolate… mmmm…like Sin Squared. How about enjoying a meal with my friends and family without a lot of drama? Or what about a productive day at work without the back-biting? I see a pattern here. Yes…I have spent a large portion of my life avoiding drama and confrontation. Where does that put me? It puts Milly right smack dab in the middle!
The middle is steady. It’s productive. It’s easy. There’s less stress all around…or so I tell myself. But is it really? I’ve tried to keep the peace whether it I’m at work, home, family gatherings, or with friends. It’s a lot of pressure. I just want to enjoy time with the people in my life. I don’t care what we do. I want to enjoy the people. I have lost something of myself by allowing others to express themselves but, not expressing my thoughts or feelings. It just didn’t seem to be worth the battle. The middle is the wide path I know well. I’m in good company. The path is well-worn by well-meaning people. It’s a super highway in our age of appeasement.
Some middles can’t be avoided. For example, right now I’m in-between my aging father and my grown children. I’m called the “sandwich generation.” Which is a misnomer because; it’s actually a phase of life. It is a temporary situation lasting a few years. As a daughter honoring her father, I choose to accept being the middle here. What about the rest of my life? Will I continue to “keep the peace?”
I asked the question: What does scripture say about paths? I looked up the word “path”. I found 108 references to the word. The two that popped out to me were:
- Psalms 23:3(NIV) ; “he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name sake.” I am struggling to trust the path he has me following right now. I am listening through the noise of life for his guidance. This path is unknown to me and testing my trust in God.
- Proverbs 4:26-27 (NIV) “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” In the New International Version of the Bible, Proverbs 4 is titled “Get Wisdom at Any Cost.” I read through the passage. It reminds me I have not sought Wisdom for a majority of my life. This passage gave me pause. I am responsible for the paths my feet take. I don’t have to be swept into the stream of traffic. Steadfast I grab my Lord’s hand and direct my feet to walk with him. I can keep my foot from evil, if I do not turn away from my guiding Star.
I find I need to get out of the middle of the wide well-worn easy path. Stop appeasing the crowd. Follow His lead to a path that is overgrown and hidden, or maybe not even there. Here’s a thought, to form a foot path or a super highway, at some point, someone had to walk the way without a trail first.
What did I discover in my frantic month of writing? I can live on the edge. I can do the writing and get the words out. My musings, my stories come from the wellspring God gifted me. He is the Father that wants me to have my ‘heart’s desire.’ [see Psalms 20:4 and 37:4 NIV]. I have found a path to getting my words out. He knows the way. For me it is a path I cannot see clearly. I am used to being on the same path with a lot of other peeps. This path is for me alone. It is a path leads to my heart’s desire.
Was the path I took in November hard? Yes! Was it worth it? Definitely! I loved the thrill of living my dream. I enjoyed pounding my words onto the pages. It’s only been a little over a week and I already miss the writing. I miss watching the story unfold as my fingers fly. I needed a break but maybe, not quite as long as I thought.
I will find a way to put aside my habit of playing in the middle of the road. I’m on the path I need right now. I’m picking up the laptop and heading back into the story. I can’t stop now. I’m driving my dream.
Follow your heart’s desire and follow the path designed especially for you,